I'm on a Roll

Dylan's birthday is this Friday and as it creeps closer and closer, I mourn the loss of my baby. My figurative baby. He is a little boy now. Tall and strong. Handsome and funny. I am with him every moment and yet, he still can surprise me. Dylan doesn't talk much, so hearing "Dank You, Mommy" from the tiny little man voice was a complete shocker to me. A wonderful shocker. The boy can hardly ask for juice but here he is, in his sweet little voice, thanking me for it. Everyday he grows bigger and everyday I realize that one day, he'll be embarrassed when I call him my baby. But that's what he'll forever be. My sweet, little baby.

Stay at Home Mom aka CrazyTrain....

I'm just beginning to realize how awful and wonderful being a stay at home mom is. Endless supply of awesome mixed with a very finite supply of cash equals stressed to the max. I love being able to watch my kids grow and evolve. I love hanging out with them and getting endless two year old kisses. I love seeing my baby girl not be much of a baby anymore. Now if only this job came with some sort of guaranteed $200,000,000 paycheck. Then everything would be great. Don't get me wrong. We are doing pretty well for ourselves here. Roof over our heads, food in our bellies, too many ridiculous toys to count. But still, we just need a little more. So now I have driven straight into Crazy town trying to redo our budget and eat Ramen for days and days on end. I have sat up nights furiously writing and erasing numbers. Trying to please everyone from the electric company to our parents. Always trying to be one dollar ahead of the game but inevitably remaining $5 behind. I'm sure that this is temporary. I know that things aren't 100% right now, but they are still at a 95. So while I continue to stress and be crazy about should we keep Netflix or drop it???? I'll also continue to love being able to do that in the place that I love best. With my kids.